lazy Sunday morning

All told, this has been a pretty good week.  I've been feeling down lately, so I decided to have some people over for dinner last night.  I haven't done a whole lot of entertaining here, just because my place is pretty small for entertaining, but gosh darn it, we had a really good time last night.  I made a pot roast with potatoes, leeks, onions, and carrots, and people brought various kinds of roasted veggies (and homemade Irish creme liqueur!), and we feasted on fall food in my little apartment.  It was really, really nice, and (I don't know if this is relevant at all) I made a point to invite only women.  I recently read this article that a friend of mine linked to on Facebook a while back, and it's had me thinking about women friends.  I don't agree with everything in the article*, but I've never really been one to have a lot of female friends, and I do think it's worth wondering why.  I've usually had one or two very close female friends, but never a whole group of them.  So I was thinking about how I've been feeling down lately, and how I know all of these awesome women that I love and respect so much, and also how no one cares if your place is small or messy or crappy, people just need food and a place to gather, and they'll generally have a good time (and my place isn't even remotely messy or crappy - just small).  So anyway, I had a great night hanging out with some awesome, funny, smart people, and I have resolved to do it more often.  Especially since a couple people I really wanted to come weren't able to make it.

* I find it especially weird that she goes on at length about how you shouldn't be petty and catty with your female friends, but hey, bullet point #10: "Don't let your friends buy ugly outfits or accessories you don't want to look at when you hang out."  Uhh...?

Anyway, in other 'improving mental health' news, I have my first appointment with a counselor tomorrow, and I'm mostly looking forward to it and feeling curious about how it's going to go.  I've never been to a counselor before, but we get free counseling through our health insurance, and I feel like, if ever there were a time when I should check out counseling, it's got to be now.  I'm (very) slowly getting back to normal, but god, it's so slow, and it's so schizophrenic.  I'll be doing really well for a few weeks, and then I'll just be devastated for a few days, kind of out of the blue.  And then it'll take me at least a few days to get back on the up-and-up, and I'll be good for a few weeks, and then I'll have another really horrible week.  Well, I'm totally sick of the horrible weeks.  And I know it's normal, and it's going to take a long time to process everything, and I'm okay, and so on and so on, but it would be really nice to get some practical tips from a mental health professional about how to get this show on the road, y'know?  So we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

So, today.  Today is beautiful, in that "isn't it supposed to be fall? oh right, Bay Area Indian Summer" way.  It's been chilly and foggy for weeks, and suddenly it's 80 degrees today.  I have a fair bit of work I need to get to, but I'm not quite ready to dig in yet (which is why I'm still in my pajamas and blogging at 12:30).  I think, though, it's time for a shower, and another cup of coffee, and maybe a little bit of pleasure reading before I do some work today.  I have an abstract to write, and some work to do for D-Lab, and plenty of academic reading I could be doing.  So I will sit in my sunny apartment with the windows open wide, next to the bouquet of flowers my friends brought me, and enjoy this beautiful day.