Dearest readers,
You undoubtedly will have noticed that I have not updated this blog for nearly two months. There are many, many good reasons for that, but most of them boil down to the fact that I have a brand new, very different life now, which I have been growing into for some time. We could say that it's been two months, or we could say that it's been six months, or really, maybe we could say that it's been three and a half years, give or take. So before I explain that any more, I must first sincerely apologize to anyone who is reading this post and is about to be whacked with some potentially surprising information for the first time.
The main reason I've been putting off writing this entry is that I haven't known what to say, or how to say it, and I haven't wanted to hurt or upset anyone unnecessarily by going about it the wrong way. But the fact of the matter is that R and I have decided to split up, and the past few months have been a period of realizing that that's the right thing for us to do, and then deciding to actually do it, and then actually doing it.
I'm doing remarkably well, all things considered. In fact, I don't think I'm misstating the case to say that we're both doing remarkably well. I think it would even be true to say that we're both doing much better than we were just a few months ago, before I decided for sure to move out. I'll speak just for myself now, but I'm pretty sure it's true for both of us, that it's like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Things were really not going that great between us... this is not to say they were going badly, by any means, we have just been growing apart for a long time, and trying to stay together while growing apart has not been working for anyone. So to admit that it's not really working and take a few steps back - to take the pressure off and stop stressing out about the fact that neither of us are very happy with our relationship - that has felt really great, and freeing. It's like a door has been opened, and it's spring in California, or something.
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| And it is spring in California. |
This is my new place. I love it. It's only about a mile or so from our house, where R is staying, with the dogs. I miss them all very much, but I can stop by when I want to, and I've been going by about once a week to walk the dogs and get caught up with R.
In the meantime, I have some mental and emotional space, and a sunny, airy, lovely new place to call my own. It's small, but very cute, and it feels very much like home already. Let me share it with you.
This is the front room, which doubles as a bedroom and sitting area. That rectangular hunk of wood in the lower right corner is this awesome table I got at Ikea. When I don't want it, it folds down into a little hunk of wood that I can keep against the wall, but you can see how it has two huge leaves that fold down along the sides, and they both prop up so it turns into a full size dining room table that can seat 6 people!
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This is the view out the big window next to my bike, looking toward the hills. The fact that the window faces east means I'm woken up by the sunrise every morning, which is so nice. Plus the back yard (which I share with the couple who live in the main part of the house, downstairs) is full of flowering trees right now, and it makes for such a cheerful view.
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I have a lot of closet space, and this one is so huge that I just put my piano in it and keep it open all the time!
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| Completing the panorama of the front room. |
The dark brown chaise in the lower left corner of that photo is probably the best purchase I've ever made. It's up against the windows, and I've been opening them and the front door and just curling up with a book (or an iPad, more precisely) and reading. It feels like being on a screened-in porch!
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| Best seat in the house. |
Like so. You can see the little landing in front of my front door here. The apartment is on the top floor of a house, and there's a separate stairway that leads up to my place.
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| Cute little hallway. |
The bathroom is straight ahead down the hall. On the left is this adorable little dressing room that's basically like a walk-in closet, and to the right is my awesome kitchen.
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| I love my kitchen. |
And that's basically it for now! I would say more, except I've been sitting in a cafe trying to finish this post for about an hour. The internet connection here has been really slow loading these photos, and I'm sick of sitting and waiting, so I'm going to head out in a bit.
The weather is gorgeous here right now. It was about 70 degrees today, and even now, as I sit in this cafe, the windows are all wide open, so the whole cafe is open to the street and humming with the ambient sounds of people chatting and working. It feels like an early summer evening, warm with a cool breeze, and I want to get out and enjoy it while I can.
Things are good. Life is very good, and I'm very happy, and feeling like all is right and well with the world.
