I think it wasn't that I was "running out of steam" so much as I needed to depressurize. :) I'm feeling much better now! So here's the update: I am not applying for the Penn State job right now. My advisor talked to the person in charge of the job, and now that we have some insider information, I will be applying for a very similar job next year. Sorry to be so cryptic, I just feel weird talking about it on a public blog, even though I don't think anyone terribly... "important"... reads this thing. Except for you, dear reader! ;) No, I just mean... well, you probably know what I mean. The point is, there is probably going to be a very similar job opening up next year, so there's no reason to rush this one.
Which means I may still be moving to Pennsylvania (chances are even fair to good, I would say), but it would be next summer. And I am not applying for any other jobs just yet, so I will be in Berkeley at least one more year, which is so freaking good to know. I didn't realize how much the up-in-the-air-ness was getting to me, stress-wise.
Also, my stomach hasn't been bothering me at all since Thursday morning, and I'm not sure what to do about that. If my ulcer is healing/has healed on its own, then I don't need to go to the doctor. But if it comes back in a few days, I'll feel dumb for canceling my appointment and then having to schedule another one. I guess I'll probably just go anyway and see what they say.
Also also, this is totally dorky, but I just downloaded a sweet application for my iPad that lets me organize and annotate PDFs like a boss. I am clearly being tongue-in-cheek about it, because it feels like a silly thing to be excited about, but I am really excited. Especially now that I don't have to write a dissertation in 6 months, I'm really looking forward to reading a lot, having some time to wrap my head around what I'm doing, and hopefully doing some really good work, that I'm really proud of. Now I have at least until May, and I want to do this thing right.
Also also also, now that my summer has magically been freed up (i.e. I don't have to lock myself in a room and stare at my computer as much as I was mentally preparing myself for), it looks like the aforementioned road trip is going to happen relatively soon, like at the end of June/beginning of July.
Today Jevon and I went down to the farmers' market in Jack London Square, wandered around in the sunshine, tried a bunch of yummy samples, bought some crazy-delicious fruit (we are at the height of strawberry and peach season - YUM), and sat in the grass enjoying the breeze and noshing on juicy nectarines. It was just what I needed, and I feel approximately 1,000 times better than I did just 3 days ago.
Now it is time for a snack, and for drinking some ice water and reading a book. I am at peace.
1 comment:
I'm glad to know you'll be around at least another year! I was preparing for my coffee breaks to be really boring. ;-)
I'm really glad to hear you're feeling better too! The up-in-the-airness really does suck. I find that even the smallest things that are up-in-the-air really bother me, like not knowing if people will come visit, etc, so I can't imagine such a big thing looming!
It's great that you got to the Jack London Square farmer's market! Em and I go there pretty often. Sometimes I stop by Blue Bottle before, but most of the time we just enjoy the produce and the waterfront. If you've never been, you should try to make it to the Grand Lake Farmer's Market. I think that even though the Jack London one is nice, for actual food and produce, I like the Grand Lake one better!
I'm always jealous of your dissertation productivity. :-) I really need to get crackin' on mine! Hopefully what I'm doing here and now will count. If you ever get the chance to spend some time on Vancouver Island, you should - it's really beautiful and interesting! It's amazing how many First Nations people are around. In Duncan, the proportion of First Nations people I see is similar to the proportion of HIspanic people I see in the Bay Area!
Anyway, thanks for posting! I love hearing about how things are going for you. And I totally understand about being "cryptic." :-)
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