Momentum

It's funny; I am a creature of momentum, as it turns out. I guess I already knew this about myself, but now that I'm back in class after a few weeks off, the effect has been more exaggerated than I remember. I know I have this problem where when I have no structure in my life, it's very easy for me to do absolutely nothing. If I have a whole day with very little that I actually need to do, I tend to do almost nothing. Whereas if I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off, I get so much done, and it's self-perpetuating, in a way.

The Nothingness Problem has become more evident to me since starting grad school. Over winter break and spring break, I tend to re-check the same websites over and over again, stare into space, and end up watching mindless TV. Or sometimes good TV (Dexter, Mad Men, House, etc.). But the fact remains that if I don't have anywhere to be or go at a certain time, I can't even manage to get the most basic things done around the house, e.g. loading the dishwasher, doing a load of laundry, running the vacuum cleaner.

On the other hand, when I have way too much to do, I just do do do. Now that I'm taking this 4 hour per day Spanish class, I'm getting all kinds of other stuff done, too. I'm back in the lab, running tons of experimental subjects, reading articles, learning some more programming... doesn't that seem backwards? It seems like 4 hours of Spanish should leave me burnt out and ready to zone out, and instead I'm like, gee, what else can I do today? It's like the sense of accomplishment spills over into other areas of my life. Especially this week, I've been realizing how much better I feel when I feel productive. I wonder if that Northern European work ethic is genetic or something... centuries of German and Swedish ancestry converging to make me feel like a better person when I actually get some work done.

I'm also realizing that this is something I need to be in tune with over the next few years, as my required classes become fewer and fewer and I have to be my own driving force to get any work done. I guess I'll have to get better at imposing deadlines on myself and creating my own structure, or I'm never going to be able to write a dissertation...

Another thing I've been thinking about recently is how gosh darn much I love learning new languages. Taking this Spanish class is really reminding me why I got into linguistics in the first place. Language acquisition and historical language change are totally where it's at, dudes. I am completely fascinated and in love with learning Spanish. I do not know why I didn't try harder to really learn it earlier, but maybe that's a good thing, because it's been a great pick-me-up this summer. I love, love, love seeing the differences between Spanish and French and trying to figure out how they got to be how they are. There is so much that is so similar, but today we started to dig deeper into the Spanish tense system, and it's significantly different from French. French has undergone so many radical simplifications, both phonologically and syntactically (although these are sometimes related, I think) that it's a really asymmetrical system in a lot of ways. I realize this may be nonsense lingua-babble to whoever is reading this, but bear with me. From what I can tell thus far, Spanish has a much more "symmetrical" grammar than French, which means it makes a theoretically "prettier" system in a lot of ways, but there are way more forms to learn.

I think the main example I'm thinking of is the fact that modern French just doesn't have a simple past tense. It has a "composed past", meaning the past tense is made up of co-opted forms of the present, in a way. So in French, you can't say, "I ran", you have to say, "I have run" (j'ai couru). But the way you say "I have run" is also "I have run". And there's no difference in the forms for "I run" and "I am running" (je cours). So you have a lot of the same forms doing multiple jobs in French, which is partially what I mean about it being asymmetrical. But in Spanish, there are distinct forms for all of those things. And I have to memorize them this weekend. :) But it's really interesting to see two systems that are clearly very closely related historically, but that have diverged in really interesting ways over time. And someday - someday! - I will speak Spanish. I will.

So much for that. Man, today just feels like a Friday. My brain is tired and I'm having trouble concentrating, which is why I'm blogging instead of working. But I got so much done this week! Time for a justly merited evening off (as opposed to a lack-of-momentum one).

Wait, no, it's time for the announcement: I will be in Illinois in August, and I cannot wait! Just. Can't. Wait. Champaign August 12-15, and Chicago August 15-17. Mark your calendars and make some time to remind me why I miss my beloved Midwest so very much! I need lightning bugs and starry skies over empty cornfields, friendly folks and familiar places, and probably some Custard Cup. Very very much looking forward to it and can't wait to see as many of y'all as I can.