Man, it so comes in spurts. I wrote a difficult section of my background chapter this morning, and now I just don't want to do it anymore. I finally broke out of the guilt-anxiety-avoidance spiral a little bit - that horrible limbo where you can't make yourself start working on something because it just feels overwhelming and like you can't do it - so it was going relatively well. But now I just have more difficult sections to write, and I just plain don't wanna do it.
Times like these are when I have to find non-difficult sections to write, like just summarizing other people's studies, because that at least keeps the juices flowing and helps me feel productive. Confidence building sections, really. So I guess I should find some more studies to summarize, and maybe that will help me feel better and get back into it.
I also have this problem currently where I keep rationalizing the amount of time I have left. I was going to try to have this chapter done by tonight, but that's looking less and less likely. So now... if I can just get it done sometime this week, I can spend all of next weekend revising my three existing chapters. I think I can do revisions on one chapter per day, if I really buckle down. And that leaves me about a week to write my discussion chapter...
TIME IS DISAPPEARING. And I kind of don't like it one bit, because AAAAACK I HAVE TO FILE THIS THING IN 18 DAYS, but at the same time, there is a weird sense of relief beginning to creep up on me, just the tiniest tiniest bit. I am so in the home stretch. In 19 measly days I will be done. I am so close, and yet so far away...
3 comments:
Hey Melinda!
You are almost finished - one thing I have learned in life, the hardest part of any endeavor is starting... and finishing - so am not surprised with how you feel about the ending of your paper.
Just think of it as an amazing opportunity to fulfill a long term dream, and it is not supposed to be easy, it is something that is going to stretch your limits, make you feel small and humble, and then, when you see that 26.2 mile chute in the distance, oops, wait, we are talking running, correct? ;)
Home stretch, baby - kick it in, no looking back, no regrets!!
Melinda - I so identify with your thing about the guilt-anxiety-avoidance spiral. That has happened to me some lately too, and it's always comforting to know I'm not the only one.
Sometimes, what helps me is to say "Oh, I thought I could get this done by today, but it's going really well. Instead, I'll try to have it done by FIVE and then I can do X fun thing!" Oftentimes, that makes it so I feel motivated to work hard and fast, and often I won't make my earlier deadline that allows me to do fun stuff, but I end up making the original deadline I set. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it might be worth a try.
Anyway, I've gotta say that all your hard and quick work on your dissertation is an inspiration to me!
lots of folks rooting for you baby girl...........
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