Oh my word, what a day. What a
week, really. 3 main issues making me feel like I'm on a mini (not that great) roller coaster:
1) The part time job I have taken on - I don't want to write any specifics about it on my blog, because it's not appropriate to talk negatively about it in a public forum - while providing me with some really nice extra cash, has just been way too much thankless, frustrating work to be worth it. I put in my notice this past week, saying I won't be continuing beyond this semester. The thing is, I was feeling really good about the work we're doing after the two meetings I went to this week. I felt like things were finally starting to move along, we were all making some progress, and maybe it would be worth it to stay on for next semester. And then this afternoon I get sucked into another backandforthandbackandforth email exchange, and I'm ready to be done
now. So I get to go to another meeting tomorrow! (grumble grumble) I will stick it out this semester, but after that,
no more!
2) Earlier this afternoon, I found out my dissertation study has finally been approved! So I was super excited, and I emailed the research director at the campus preschool, and she suggested I call her immediately, which is never a good sign. I just got off the phone with her, after a very long chat (I just love this woman, she's wonderful), and it turns out UC Berkeley has decided to privatize their child care system, effective immediately. So people are being laid off and everyone is freaking out, and some of the parents are boycotting the research program because they're totally powerless and don't know what else to do. I can hardly be angry at the parents, but my immediately reaction is nevertheless, "WHAT?! Are you kidding me??" The week my study finally gets approved is the week everything goes to hell in a handbasket, and it is suddenly rather up in the air whether I'm going to be able to find enough non-boycotting children to participate in my dissertation study. I was already cutting it pretty close, but feeling confident I could be done collecting data by January or so, and now I just have no earthly idea. What a mess.
3)
Plus, as if I needed this day to be
weirder, I drove down to the Alameda County Courthouse and filed our divorce paperwork this morning. Honestly, it was a refreshingly/alarmingly sterile process. I stood in line for a few minutes, went up to a window, handed over the paperwork, signed some things, and I was basically done within half an hour. California has a 6 month waiting period, so on May 2nd, I will officially be divorced, and I can finally legally change my name back. I thought I would be more upset about filing, but it actually feels pretty good. It's been this weird, supremely unpleasant thing hanging over my head for months now, and I'm pretty tired of dealing with the two last names problem, so it just feels good to have
done it. It's still sad in some respects, obviously, but I've been feeling so sad for so long that it's like my sad muscles have given out. So instead I just feel relieved, and like it's time to move on now.
You know what? F*** this day, man. I'm going for a run.
