Boston pictures, etc.

they slice feebly through the atmosphere,
at an angle far too steep for 3:00 pm:
these rays of fall sunshine that somehow
look so warm and feel so chilly, I mean

they skitter across the November grass
that grows in haphazard little rainy-season-clumps of lush green
I will never understand fall in California,
how it manages to feel something like fall after all

the rains are coming and I can smell it on the breeze
I will need that blanket and that cup of tea,
please,
I will need late night talks and staring out the window for a time
and I will need some silly jokes
and some long, long runs that numb my body and my mind

some friends and I decided that being an adult
is not what you thought it would be
you stay the same, and stay the same
but then you look back and realize that something surely must have changed
because this is not the same as that
and you didn't even know you were on a path from there to here

the thing is:
time will never cease to push you,
but you have to keep yourself facing forward
otherwise you get lost, or you move backward,
or you end up in the middle of nowhere

this time next year will suddenly feel like fall again
we can look at ourselves in the slanted sunlight
and try to decide how much we've changed
and which way we're going

things that make me happy

Here is a list of things that have made me happy today:

- Meeting with my undergrad phonetics students.  They're so bright and enthusiastic, and it makes me grateful to have them in my class, and grateful to have the opportunity to teach them and interact with them.

- Coming home at 4:30.  Because I can.

- Hot chocolate.

- Playing the piano for an hour.  Because I can.

- Greek yogurt with fig jam and almonds.  Holy cow, what a delicious discovery.

- Setting up a time to go running with friends on Saturday.  Friends - plural!  A group of 4 or 5 of us are doing a 6-miler on Saturday morning!

- Along those lines: planning the rest of my marathon training.  I don't even have to do my first 20-miler until mid-January, and I'll still be perfectly prepared.

- Persimmon season.

- Talking about going to Montreal this summer!  A plan has been hatched.  There may be a Chicago-Montreal road trip in the works...

- Having red hair again.  It was time.

It doesn't show up that great in this picture, but trust me.  It is great.

Napa Valley, here I come...

I just officially registered for the Napa Valley Marathon in March!

I'm so excited - it's been so long since I did a marathon!  I have just under 4 months to get ready, and I'm feeling really good about it.  I did a really nice and easy 10 miles or so yesterday (with my new running buddy! I finally got someone to run with me) and I feel great today.  Can't wait!

barreling through

it smells like rain and
maybe a new beginning
is this really fall?

*****

Oh my goodness, I am so excited about today.  I'm serious, I feel like there are endless possibilities, and they're all magnificently boring, and it's the greatest thing.  My plan is to get caught up on some of the most important things missing from my life for the past 3 weeks.  By this I mean: drinking tea, listening to NPR, playing the piano, going grocery shopping, cooking, taking a nap, watching Six Feet Under, doing laundry, and maybe even reading something that doesn't have to do with phonotactic probability.

I turned in an incomplete version of my dissertation prospectus yesterday.  I still have a lot to add to it, but the structure is there, and that's the most important part.  Now I'm taking the day off (mostly, probably).  It seems like everyone had a really rough week this week.  Thankfully I ran into F in the hallway yesterday around 5:00 (I was admittedly trying to run into him, by going by his office) and we booked it over to Jupiter for a beer.  I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say it was probably the greatest beer I've ever had.  We sat upstairs by the window, overlooking downtown Berkeley in the fall twilight, and munched on olives and mused on life.  After a while at Jupiter, we headed to the Albatross and met up with a small group of people who also had a rough week, and we somehow stayed out until 1:00 am or so.  We were a little haggard and pathetic, I think... it seemed like most of us were at least partially falling asleep at some point... but it was so nice to be with friends, laughing and not thinking or stressing about getting my paper done.  It's definitely close enough that I can take today and tomorrow off, I think.  Then I'll work on it all day Sunday and Monday, and it'll be done for real.  Done.

I had a glorious run in the rain just now.  Absolutely beautiful.  Not particularly far, but it was so nice to get out of the house, get some blood flowing, and just feel wonderfully, primally alive.  When I sit at my computer all week, reading and writing and thinking, I start to get antsy and dissatisfied.  People were not made for sitting at computers all day, and some part of my caveman brain knows that and gets grumpy if I suppress it for too long.  Anyway, I woke up around 7:15 this morning, because apparently I have accidentally retrained myself that hey, 5 1/2 hours of sleep is probably enough.  (It is not.  But I digress.)  And I just had to go.  So me and the dogs did a little loop up and around campus, and it started drizzling about a mile in, but it was this nice, soft, spring rain that makes everything smell fresh and dirt-y and new.  By "dirt-y", I mean it literally smells like soil, and I love that.  Then I came home and actually cooked myself breakfast and made some tea, instead of subsisting on coffee and baked goods, as I have been for about two weeks now.  I turned on NPR and sat down and ate my eggs and it was good.

You know what it is time for?  Piano.  And then a nice warm shower, and then lazing about in flannel pants and my Illinois hoodie, watching Six Feet Under until the rain lets up.  Then there will be groceries and listening to music and cooking, and (nearly) all will be right with the world.

delirious conversation with myself

me: You know what will be nice?

me: Lots of things, but I think I know which one you're referring to, me.

me: Yeah, I'm thinking about Thursday night when this dissertation prospectus is turned in.

me: True.  Actually, I was thinking about Friday morning, when you don't have to get up at 4:00 am and write about syllables.

me: You're right, me.  I'm not sure which one will be nicer.

me: You know, maybe you should go to bed, since it's only 8:40 pm and you're already typing up a conversation with yourself on your blog.

me: Yeah, probably.  Guess that Boston pictures post will have to wait until later this week.  Good night.

Correction: sunny and crisp, but still a little weird

I accidentally just ran 9 miles.  It turns out there are only so many bridges that cross the Charles River, so if you miss one, your run might end up longer than expected... but that's great!  I planned a route of about 8 miles, apparently missed a bridge somewhere, and instead wound up with 9 miles, which was just about perfect.  Napa Valley is coming up in exactly 4 months, so I'm feeling good about the fact that I can still do 9 miles perfectly comfortably.  There are some things I had kind of forgotten about marathon training though...

1) Running in the cold.  The first 1-2 miles are a little uncomfortable, but then you get nice and warmed up, and it feels fantastic.  45 degrees is perfect weather for shorts and a t-shirt, if you can believe it. ;)  After 5 or so more miles, though, it's like my body finds a new equilibrium and remembers that it's 45 degrees out.  So then I usually alternate between feeling perfect and being a little chilly for the last few miles.  If I'm going longer than 10 miles in the cold (which hasn't happened in several years, so I had forgotten this), I really have to wear running tights and/or a long sleeve shirt, though.  10 is about my limit in shorts and a t-shirt once the temperature starts dropping.

2) Chafing.  Ok, I didn't forget that chafing happens, but I sort of forgot the reality of chafing.  When you're starting to get a little tired and feeling like you'd like to be done running now, please, it's not much fun when some part of your body is getting raw from rubbing against some piece of clothing.  A reminder that Body Glide is your friend.

3) Getting ready for a marathon is all about training your legs to deal with the stress.  I never, ever have cardiovascular difficulties during longer runs; it's always my legs that do the complaining.  Today it was my left hamstring a little bit (because I ran a 5K in San Diego this week, and am still a little bit sore, embarrassingly) and then my right calf a tiny bit (probably because I was a little dehydrated).  Things I have learned about my musculature from running so much is that my hamstrings are perpetually tight, they only get more so unless I stretch a little bit, and if I don't stretch an adequate amount, I end up with a back spasm at some point.  I have also learned that my calves threaten to cramp up if I'm not hydrated enough.  And if I get really dehydrated, they do cramp, and that is mi-se-ra-ble.

Enough running talk.  You know, Boston is very nice.  I did my 9 miles up and down the Charles River, and it was quite pretty.  It still feels somewhat weird and foreign, and I can't really imagine living here, but the sun was shining and it was such a quintessentially fall day today that I found myself scooting along with a grin on my face.  The fall leaves are gorgeous, and the buildings are all red and brown brick, and I really like cities that have a river winding through them.  It's very Old World, in a very nice way.

Well.  I'm going to try to get some grading done before the plenary talk at 5:45, and I am going to sleep so well tonight.  (I slept great last night, too.  Now that I'm adjusted to the 3 hour difference, it's time to go back to the west coast.  At least I'll have the end of Daylight Saving Time helping me out on the way back.)  Tomorrow I've got a full morning of talks again, until 12:30.  Then I think I'll walk around Boston a bit and take some pictures before I catch my flight around 6:00 tomorrow night.  And the magic of time zones is such that I'll get back to San Francisco at 9:40 after a 6.5 hour flight.

And so I bid you adieu, until tomorrow when I'm killing time in an airport, most likely.

dark and cold and weird: part 2

I kick off my shoes


take off down the cold pavement


skin tingles and burns

**********

Maybe I should start all of my posts with a haiku describing an aspect of my day.

So, Boston is still dark and cold and weird, as far as I can tell, but I was in a building listening to conference talks for the part of the day when the sun was out, so I'm still reserving judgment.  You know what?  My conference talk seems to have gone really well.  A really kind lady came up to me afterwards and wanted to talk to me some more, and it turns out she's just finished a post-doc with THE bilingualism researcher, just started a job as a professor at Harvard, and studies bilingual brains with ERP and other brain-scanny equipment, and she wants to collaborate with me.  So I feel like that's got to be a good sign.  We're going to be in touch about a project she'd like to bring me in on, because she wants to look at babies' neural responses to nursery rhymes and she needs a phonetician.  Hooray for networking!

Other than that, man am I pooped.  I didn't get to sleep until almost 2:00 last night, because 2:00 EST is only 11:00 PST.  I had set my alarm for 6:00 this morning, but when it went off, it was clear that that was simply not happening.  So I hit the snooze alarm for nearly an hour and finally got out of bed around 7:00, which, come on, is still 4:00 am Pacific time.  (So... my normal wake up time these days.  Oy.)  I practiced my talk a bit this morning and gave it at 11:30, and everyone I talked to said I was a really strong presenter.  The Harvard lady said it was an extremely clear, logical, and easy to follow presentation, and that made me feel really good, because by the time I'm ready to present something to other people, I've been thinking about it for so long that I honestly can't tell which parts make sense any more.

Enough of that.  The Harvard lady actually bought me lunch, and we talked about all kinds of acquisitiony things, and then I went to some talks in the afternoon.  Got caught up with a friend from Berkeley who finished his PhD a few years back, chatted with him and my Stanford/France collaborator (who whom I had my ASA poster this week), and then me and aforementioned collaborator went and got hot chocolate.  I was trying to explain to this dear, sweet, innocent Californian friend of mine how the best part about winter is coming in to a toasty warm house when it's cold outside.  It's not that cold in Boston right now, by any means, but as we were sitting in Starbucks with our hot chocolate, I realized how nice and warm and cozy it was inside, and how that feeling is only truly soul-warmingly satisfying when you've been walking in the cold for a bit.  She tried to understand, but I think she really just wants to get back to California. :)

There was a plenary talk at 7:45 tonight, and there was a whole spread of delicious desserts afterwards, and that is a cruel trick to play on conference attendees, if I may say so.  I had to stay for the plenary talk, because the lady giving it is a big name in acquisition research, but my brain was shutting down a little bit.  I made it to the end, grabbed some awesome cake, and came back to where I'm staying.

On the way back, I had this nearly-uncontrollable urge to kick off my shoes and just run down the street.  I reined it in, but I was thinking about how good it is to have that stinging feeling from bare feet on cold concrete, and how sometimes you really need to just kick off your shoes and run down the street for no reason other than the fact that you can.  Instead, I walked quickly back and thought about how I'm going to go for a long, long run along the Charles River tomorrow, and how I wish I had thought to bring my running tights.  There's supposed to be a high of 50 degrees tomorrow, and I have a bunch of talks I should go to in the morning, so my plan is to eat a big breakfast and go for my run during the warmest part of the day, in the early afternoon, when I've digested but am not hungry again yet.  Then I can eat a big, late lunch, and hopefully hang on until tomorrow night, when there's another late plenary talk that I absolutely must see.

For now I have chamomile tea and nice warm pajamas waiting for me.  I will turn on some music and dance around while I brush my teeth, and then I will sleep and sleep and sleep before I do it all again tomorrow.

Boston is dark and cold and weird.

Ok, that's not fair at all.  I've only been here since it's been dark, and it's only cold because I'm staying in some lady's house and I don't want to turn the thermostat up too high.  I found this bed and breakfast on AirBnB, which I highly recommend if you're traveling somewhere and want to find a nice, homey place in your price range, but it turns out the place I'm staying has no one here until Saturday night.  The lady was super nice - she left me a key in a lockbox, the code for the internet, bagels and cream cheese and coffee for breakfast - but she also left her thermostat at 65 degrees and I'm not sure whether that's because she's been out of town for a while or she wants to save money.  But 65 degrees is kinda chilly in a drafty house in Boston.  So I just turned it up to 68 and I hope I don't cost her a fortune or anything.  I guess I'm paying to stay here, so I should be able to turn up the heat a little bit...?  (And isn't it a little weird that she just trusts people to come into her house and hang out while she's gone?  She seems really nice and normal, and I guess I probably seem nice and normal, but I don't think I would let strangers into my house when I'm not there.)

Anyway, another weird thing about Boston so far is that when we were flying in, the sun was setting over the land instead of the ocean, and that made me realize I've been living in California for long enough that it's weird to me when the sun sets on the opposite side of the horizon as the ocean.  Funny how new little normalcies creep into your life without you realizing it.

Another weird thing is that the people look different here.  It's subtle enough that it's not particularly alarming or anything (the majority of people look approximately the same in most places in the U.S., probably), but the predominant style is clearly somewhat different.  Far fewer hipsters, for one thing.  Much less plaid. A lot more tweed, and shoes that have actually been shined.  (Shoes that are actually shineable, in fact.)  More people who get their hair cut regularly.  Fewer tattoos.  I forgot that the "preppy" look existed, to tell you the truth.

So I'm not judging you yet, Boston, since I've only known you for about 5 hours, and pretty much all of that time was spent in the dark, on public transit, but I don't think I like you as much as the west coast, I gotta say.  I don't do well with uptight.

Speaking of uptight, I should probably get back to practicing my conference presentation.  It's at 11:30 in the morning and I want it to be over so I can enjoy the rest of this conference.  I also want to go for a long, long run, either on Saturday or Sunday morning, to work out some anxiety.  What a weird week!  I sit for a while, and then suddenly I'm in San Diego.  And then I sit for a while longer, and suddenly I'm on the exact opposite side of this huge country, on the east coast, where it actually looks and feels like November, which is simultaneously comforting and off-putting.  It's like, "oh right, seasons", but at the same time, it's like coming out of a time warp where you've been trapped in la-la land fog-and-sunshine cycles for some indeterminate amount of time.  And I also lost 3 hours today with the time change, so I keep looking at the clock and going, "what??" because I'm not even remotely tired.  I have no idea how I'm going to get to sleep.

Weirdness abounds, friends, weirdness abounds.

things that are funny in airports at 6:00 am

The best sign I have ever seen in an airport:

"SECURITY CHECK

NO JOKES, PLEASE"

Silly things have been making me giggle the past few days.  During one of the presentations I saw, this guy said, "I don't want to throw out the bathwater with the baby..." and it just struck me as really funny.  Something about the idea of wanting to chuck a baby, but definitely not wanting to lose the bathwater...

Anyway.  Not as funny: paying $8 for some yogurt and a house coffee.  It's not even a floofy espresso drink.  Or good yogurt.  :(

Well, that's that for the ASA, I guess!  I never did get to check out San Diego any more.  I went to talks on Tuesday morning, did reading and work on Tuesday afternoon, went to dinner with some people I don't know very well (but it was very nice), and hit the hotel hot tub before bed.  Wednesday, we had our poster presentation starting at 10:00, but people were already coming by and seeming interested at 8:30, so we just set up shop early and talked and talked and talked about it for 3 hours.  Everyone had nice things to say, for the most part, so that's always a good sign, I think.  I really like poster sessions, and the ASA is still my favorite conference so far.

Here's what this poster looked like, just for fun:

They're getting better with practice, I think.  (Do you see how we made our graphs look like little French flags??)

Then Wednesday afternoon I had a long lunch with some friends from Stanford and some other phonetician friends I've picked up along the way.  It was really fun in that supremely nerdy way that only other people who have something as ridiculous as phonetics as their chosen profession probably understand.  I intended to go to more talks Wednesday afternoon, but we missed the start of them because we were fleshing out our business model for a mall store that offers individualized napping space ($5 for the first 15 minutes, extra fee for someone who will wake you up forcefully; then it's $10/5 minutes after that).

So instead of seeing more talks (which I actually wanted to see!), I worked on my bibliography and tried to get more reading done, but it was one of those days where it takes you 2 hours to get through 18 pages.  Finally an old friend/acquaintance of mine called and we went and tossed a frisbee around for just a few minutes until it got dark.  I went back to the hotel and had dinner with someone I knew from the ASA meeting in Seattle last spring, then I did some more reading, spent too much time on Facebook, and hit the hot tub again.

I could seriously get used to having a hot tub around.  What a great way to wind down before bed.

And now it's 7:00 and I'm at the San Diego airport waiting to go to Newark.  I had completely forgotten that I have a connection in Newark, which means I'll be on my first flight from 8:00 PST to 4:30 EST, change planes in Newark, and then eventually get in to Boston at 6:15 tonight.  And somewhere in there I need to clean up my talk for tomorrow (yikes!) and it would be soooo nice if I could finish this bibliography.  I'm not really holding out for that, though.

I'm a little worried that I'm going to freeze in Boston.  The highs are in the 50s this weekend, but I've been living in California for long enough that I worry I've become soft.

Well, back to reading.  Much love to all, and you'll hear from me again in Boston!